today was a fun art day! i created a first draft of a piece inspired by my and oliver's twisted senses of humor-

Long time, no real update. Here's what has been going on with me the past few months:

( The world of unemployment )

( The World of Weight Watchers )

( Updated Favorite Books of All Time List. AKA - The Dead Bunny List )

several entries from the world of today!

( political profile )

things have been nuts. my schedule as of late:

monday-thursday:
6-:6:30am - wake up
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre
10:00pm - leave theatre and head home
11:00pm - get home, check email and eat if not completely exhausted, go to bed.

friday
6-:6:30am - wake up
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to wherever to chill the fuck out

saturday-sunday
wake up whenever unless i have a class or am volunteering somwhere
hula hoop my ass off


my schedule starting this saturday:

saturday:
sometime am - wake up and head to theatre
paper/dry tech most of the day

sunday:
8:00am - wake up
9:00am - head to theatre
10:00am - finalize paper/dry tech
12:00pm - q2q
2:15pm - line speed through
3:30pm - wet tech
5:30 - possible dress run
7:30pm - go home and pass the fuck out

monday:
sleep in! no work!
5:00pm - head to theatre
7:00pm - start dress run
some ungodly hour of the night - head home and pass the fuck out!

tuesday-wednesday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, start drinking heavily.
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for dress run, bump stimulants when no one is looking
some ungodly hour - leave theatre and head home
a few hours before having to go to work - get home, check email, eat if not completely exhausted, pass out from drinking all day.

thursday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, start drinking heavily. send hateful emails to friends and loved ones for not understanding me. piss in the living room and blame it on our cat, coco, even though we don't have any pets. i fail to realize that coco is a cat mentioned in the play. the world of reality and the play have melted together.
6:50am - leave for work
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for final dress run/preview, bump stimulants without caring if anyone is looking.
some ungodly hour - leave theatre and head home
a few hours before having to go to work - get home, check email, eat if not completely exhausted, pass out from drinking all day.

friday:
6-:6:30am - wake up, vomit from drinking all week, continue drinking heavily, but incorporate coffee and stimulants into each drink.
6:50am - leave for work
10:00am - 11:00am - actually show up at work, wearing different (if any) clothes than what i left the house with, and having no recollection of the events that occurred over the past 2-3 hours.
5:00pm - get off of work and head to theatre for opening night, bump stimulants while everyone is looking - offer to share. tell the actors that you really don't care about what they do on stage because you masturbate in control booth during the show.
8:00pm - curtain, start doing lines of coke off of lighting control board. try to pay attention to the show so as not to miss any cues.
9:30pm - curtain call
9:45pm-10pm - director makes toast and thanks everyone for their hard work. laugh at inappropriate times during the toast while drinking from personal flask(s)/champagne glass.
10pm - drink with cast at various bars, pick-up a 14 year old male prosti-tot, call a cab and head out.
3-5am - 40yo man drops me off in front my house in his pick-up truck. i have one shoe on and am wearing a red-sequined cocktail dress. pass out on the front porch while attempting to unlock the dead bolt.

saturday:
7-8am - stir a little and realize that i have to be out at the tuallatin valley fire and rescue training center by 9am to teach a class on basic life support to a group of health care providers. quickly shower while drinking coffee, slip into some presentable clothes, call a cab.
8:55am - show up at training center and bitch about $60.00 cab fair
9:00am - start training while being observed by an official from my own training center.
2:00pm - class is over. head home. crash.
5:00pm - wake up and head to theatre.
6:00-6:30pm - actors start arriving. apologize for my behavior. one cast member looks at me with lustful eyes - wish i could remember what happened.
8:00pm - curtain
9:30pm - curtain call
10:00pm - head to hospital to put my name on the "waiting for a liver transplant" list. yell at the nurse when they refuse to do it, threaten his/her/zer family.
11:06pm - head to jail in the back of a police car.

sunday:
8:00am - call the director and tell him where i am. ask him to post bail.
9:00am - director shows up, posts bail, yells at me, and tells me that i make him weep for humanity.
11:00am - head to theatre for sunday matinée.
2:00pm - curtain
3:30pm - curtain call
4:00pm - head home
5:00pm - discover eviction notice on door. apparently peeing in the living room was not ok. start drinking heavily.
5:45pm - call friends and break down in tears. apologize for being a jerk.


schedule after that:
repeat thursday-sunday until show closes on december 9.

For the first three people that reply to me and re-post this challenge, I will send you something. It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash. It might be a mix CD, or a rubber duck, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome. Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or fewer. The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first three to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause it's fun to give people stuff.

I am also going to add the caveat that if I don't have your snail mail address, I would like it please. You can send it to me via email at michael.rutledge@gmail.com if you are one of the first three to win. Ready? Go!

fellow readers and passersby,

fall guy theatre's production of the house of yes will be my final foray into theatre as a stage manager. i'm hanging up my blacks in order to focus on being a full time physical artist instead of a behind the scenes one. so, this will be your last chance to see me behind the scenes.

i'm hoping that my future work will sometimes crossover onto the stage in the form of props or set, but rest assured that i shall covet the cramped space of a control booth no more. i have served as a techie for a total of 14 years.

rehearsals are under way for fall guy theatre's production of the house of yes by wendy macleod. this is one of my top five favorite straight (non-musical) plays and i'm excited to once again be working with some of my favorite people! we're having such a good time that we're actually keeping a communal blog. i hope all of you can come see it, and i'm shouting out a big thank you to tmonsta for plugging the show and doing the preliminary leg work for a group outing to the theatre. word of mouth is the best form of advertising!

since i mentioned that house of yes is one of my top five favorite straight plays, i might as well give you the whole list. so, here there are - in no particular order:

house of yes by wendy macleod
a bright room called day by tony kushner
titus andronicus by william shakespeare
the flu season by will eno
ladies in retirement by reginald denham and edward percy

Some subject highlights from today's spam box:
-and my comments!

by the luscious dark babe feeling herself up
-new battle cry for he-man? she-ra?

Do you think Bill and I are going to make a good couple?
-bill cheats on you hillary. get over it and focus more on your campaign.

Your Phenterm1ne 0rder #3561443
-i've been wondering where my phentermlne is.

The certain way to save money is to buy medicines
-that's why i bought phentermlne.

rise the length of nipplepierced virgin with nice hard round titties
-and all this time i've been using stalks of celery to raise the length of my nipplepierced virgin.

FROM FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF NIGERIA.
-MUST BE IMPORTANT IF THEY HAVE TO SHOUT IT!

All data is transmitted through a secure server by our credit card processor.
-that is a comfort. i was worried that someone had stolen my identity and i wouldn't get my phentermlne.

last night i went to the rose city rollers semi-final bout! it rocked my world, even though my team, the guns n rollers lost. it was a a great time because i was with scotty, suzanne, mahotma blondie, chrispyfur, nikki nightrain, and lloydz. i love my crew!

damn, roller derby is the best sport in the world!

on tuesday i went with my friends charise and christopher to watch the swifts. this was one of the coolest things i've seen! basically a whole bunch of people gather with their pick nick baskets and wine to watch thousands of birds swirl around an old chimney before they eventually dive in a few at a time until the sky is clear. these magnificent birds gather for about 6 weeks in the fall to roost together before heading south. it was amazing to watch them swirl around and try to dodge the oncoming attacks of hawks.

i think i'm going to go again, anyone want to join me?

i'm condensing down to two identical blogs instead of 4 (the one you are reading now, and this one. i know, it's crazy that i want to try and cut down on the amount of times i fucking have to copy, paste, reformat. geez, you'd think i'm trying to make my life easier or something!

anywho, i was deleting my old myspace blogs when i found the below gems and decided to present them for your nostalgic enjoyment.

April 17, 2004 - Saturday

Feeling up destiny

fried egg, fried egg. SPAM, SPAM, SPAM. falling over mayonnaise, landing in ketchup...fry sauce!

please touch my ear. i need love. fall for me, fall for me. kiss my toe.

find a penis in the drawer, wear it for a crown. nuts to this, nuts to this. find me a cow.

feeling up destiny.



February 10, 2004 - Tuesday

looking for a good time

hello.

please leave a message after the tone......tone.....

"um, hello? hello?...don't tell me i got the fucking answering machine...son-of-a-bitch!...hey...hey, nadene! put down that pipe and listen to this....every time i try to buy crack off of this punk ass i always get the machine. i'm gonna cut this motha up real nice, yo...BITCH!!!"

last night was my final night of performing in the tba. i read from joseph heller's novel catch 22. i was in the pearl this time, near jamison park. i enjoyed reading this book very much and really got into it. several people made comments and asked what was going on. it was a very positive experience and i plan on doing it again next year.

from now until the end of the week i get to relax and enjoy other people's performances and exhibitions for the tba festival!

yesterday, today, and tomorrow are the three days i signed up to participate in the reading out loud program for the tba festival. yesterday i read don delillo's libra out loud around the front entrance to powell's, and today i read john steinbeck's the grapes of wrath out loud just outside of pam. it's been a lot of fun so far.

i can't wait to see who i'm reading tomorrow and where i'll be!

two thousand and seven yielded my second year at burning man.

what a trip! so many things happened that i'm not sure what to think. most notably, i reconnected with my long lost friend ryan, and i had a spiritual journey that led to self discovery.

ryan is growing on me like smiling at sunrise! which, by the way, is the best thing since baby wipes! he's an awesome guy and i can't wait to initiate him into the annals of life long friendship. wow, just wow! we've committed to visiting each other in our perspective cities of residence, so i can't wait to get the ball rolling on that. it's so exciting when you cultivate a friendship into something beautiful and insane. i'm not talking a romantic journey here, but a strong fraternal relationship that lasts for an indefinite amount of time. besides, he's into girls and he's not exactly my type. i much prefer the skaters or computer nerds.

my spiritual journey was on my own, of course. i realized while meditating in front of a brass lotus way out by the trash fence one night that i am an artist and that i need to work on making that my number one priority. i'm going to go full steam ahead on this one and can't wait to see the outcome. life is about to get more dangerous and titillating!

tmonsta has introduced me to goodreads!

Well, my late fall show, The House of Yes, has been cast!

I'm stage managing, and am super excited because this is one of my favorite shows. I hope you will all get a chance to come see it. Stay tuned for further details.

Well, back to HP7 - I'm halfway through The Deathly Hollows!

my schedule is exploding!

SOAK - this weekend
Lincoln City with the family - next weekend
Burning Man - End of August
Kickball - Games start weekend after Burning Man
House of Yes - Rehearsals start right after kickball starts
Lease is up - end of September - what the fuck am I gonna do?

I just finished reading Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins. It easily makes it into my top 5 list of favorite books. The list (in no particular order) is as follows:

Jitterbug Perfume
Harry Potter and the...
The Color of Magic (1st book in the Discworld series)
The Lord of the Rings
Fugitives and Refuges: A Walk in Portland

Recent reads include:

Jitterbug Perfume
The Art of Deception

Currently Reading:

Peter Pan

Soon to be Reading:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (the final installment in the HP series.)
The Light Fantastic (2nd book in the Discworld series)
Living Dead in Dallas (3rd book in the Southern Vampire series)

stolen from molly_mcb and minofsin02. This is fun to do. The only catch is that you can't ask the person who posted it anything about it! :) Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense"and added up your total fine. Title your bulletin "My Bar Tab is$........" You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10

Did acid -- $5

Ever had sex at church -- $25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- $40

Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25

Had sex for money -- $100

Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20

Vandalized something -- $20

Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10

Beat up someone -- $20

Been jumped -- $10

Crossed dressed -- $10

Given money to stripper -- $25

Been in love with a stripper -- $20

Kissed some one who's name you didn't know --$10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work-- $15

Ever drive drunk -- $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50

Used toys while having sex -- $30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

Went skinny dipping -- $5

Had sex in a pool -- $20

Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20

Cheated on your significant other -- $10

Masturbated -- $10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend --$20

Done oral -- $5

Got oral -- $5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving-- $25

Stole something -- $10

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25

Made a nasty home video -- $15

Had a threesome -- $50

Had sex in the wild -- $20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

Went streaking -- $5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

Been arrested -- $5

Spent time in jail -- $15

Played spin the bottle -- $5

Done something you regret -- $20

Had sex with your best friend -- $20

Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25

Had anal sex -- $80

Lied to your mate -- $5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25

Tally it up and Title it..."My Bar Tab Is

DAMN! CRAP! FRAK!

Today I was able to experience one of the parts of my job that I actually like - getting up close with the animals. I took the pictures of the elephant (Chendra is her name), and my co-worker Amy took most of the butterfly pictures.

Ahh, she's so cute! Chendra is a Pygmy Asian Elephant. She was found wandering around by herself. She is blind in her left eye because a farmer shot her in the eye while she was trying to eat some of his crops. She was then chained to a school yard and fed by children. Enron paid to bring her to the Oregon Zoo (wow, they actually did SOME good.).


This is the grandchild of one of our high end donors. We all got a chance to feed Chendra, but I needed to make sure and document our donor's experience.



In this picture you see Chendra sitting. It might seem wrong to do this to an animal, but I talked with the keeper and they explained how it is beneficial to certain animals. Unfortunately, I have forgotten what he said.


This is one of the ways they get the elephants to exercise (I was actually paying attention at this point!). You see the guy throwing food on the floor? This forces the elephant to bend their front knees to get the food, which means they end up doing push-ups!


On the way back to the office we decided to visit the butterflies. For some reason they really liked my shirt.